Stories from my 14-month study abroad in Buenos Aires, my 16-month post-college move to Miami, and my get-me-the-hell-out-of-Miami move to Denver

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Music Video Breakdown

Hey You! Yeah, You! Have you ever wanted to become a Colombian music video producer?!? Well, it´s your lucky day, because I´m offering my world renowned course, "Ranchera Production 101" FREE, that´s right FREE, for today only. Enjoy!!!

To make a good Colombian ranchera music video, you only need to follow this simple guide, and music video production greatness is in your hands!

1. Enter with the triumphant blast of two trumpets in harmony.

2. After trumpets, it´s best to show a clip of a man, presumably the video´s protagonist, riding a horse through an open pasture. Make sure the horse can do that special horse prance with the high hooves action.

3. Pan out to a group of 5+ gentlemen, all dressed in the traditional Colombian Ranchera outfit, swaying back and forth in unison.

4. The aforementioned group must include at least two trumpets, an accordian player, an older gentleman playing a vintage acoustic guitar, and his young protegé playing an acoustic guitar as well, a younger gentleman playing an electric bass, a keyboard player playing without the use of extention cords, and the lead singer, standing at least 10 feet in front of the rest of his group.

5. The song should be about loving a women, hating a women who has cheated you, which means it can also be about drinking, living in the countryside, having a girlfriend and a lover(Dos Amores-Jhonny Rivera) and lastly, if you´re the famous Sr. Rivera, it can be about being a taxi driver who loves women.

6. After the introductory verse, there should be a couple random shots of girls in bikinis or similar clothing, preferably entering a bathtub, entering/exiting a pool, or by chance, pampering the lead singer from all sides.

7. Enter the accordian solo. This must be quite intense for it is his time to shine. He has two options here: Play while cheerfully looking into the camera lense OR play while gazing at his accordian with a yearning expression.

8. Second verse of the song should be the lead singer discussing the problem with friends or maybe, if you´re lucky, a intimate moment between the camera and the leader singer.

9. Pan back to the musicians and they continue the sweet ballad.

10. Slowly fade to darkness, and maybe toss in that same prancing horse again, just for good measure.

There you have it folks!!! You´re now ready to attack the world of music video production. Enjoy!

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